Not content with showing us their puppies Andrex is getting down to the nitty-gritty of dietary fibre and how the nation wipes. The latest attempt to inveigle brand awareness into the last few nooks and crannies of everyday life that remain untouched is ultimately a non-(t)issue of false hysteria. The numbest of bum steers.
Showing there is no threshold remaining for how low you can go as a concept this campaign is three sheets to the wind: as limp as the tissue it sells. Do you scrunch or do you fold? Hmmm… to scrunch Andrex as a method to get the er; job done would require the precision of a surgical strike by the SAS. Either that or the necessity of a budget for loo rolls the size of the gross domestic product of a banana republic.
In any case this is one gross domestic product that we don’t want to talk about. Unless as a bit of good old British nudge-nudge: wipe-wipe. And there’s the rub… the ongoing sore spot. The skid mark so to speak. See how easily this discussion has already gone beyond the confines of taste? Scrunching or folding is not the water-cooler topic of the day – of hope, imagination or necessity. The playground – maybe?
Perhaps Andrex were overcome by exhaust fumes? A direct result of following the on-the-road trip of the Washlets wet-wipes. Not so much on the bus as on the throne. This has obviously smeared their judgement: Andrex have taken its relative success as a chance to extend the concept. The subsequent industry award to this Washlets campaign is all about rewarding new blue-sky thinking for established ‘difficult’ products that have been marketed in a traditional manner for as long as anyone can remember. But this new extension is a dog’s dinner celebrating superficial interactivity/functionality/concept over content: an industry not so much contemplating its navel as staring up its own arse.
As a conversation piece it’s execrable. As an incentive to connect on social media this is lamentable. Insanity or insanitary? Trying to get into every corner every ounce of our being/buying and inducing a warm smile for Andrex as you wipe just piles on the agony. As an ad it’s a busted flush: a cavalcade of clichéd characters including – god forbid – a coquettish hint of the sexual.
What’s next in the realm of personal hygiene? Do you blow and throw or inspect? Hopefully that’s (s)not gonna happen. Or Andrex – the fifth emergency service. Always there when you need a good dump. How about – Andrex: U-bend. U-depend? Are they that desperate for the bums on seats? This one hopefully will not run and run…
Do you scrunch or do you fold?
No humour, no style, no class. Expedient and perforated thinking. Whoever leaves the toilet last will they please flush it where it belongs; wash their hands thoroughly and switch the lights out?