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We Have A Business Plan

 Corporate Boardroom Meeting

“Right, okay ladies and gentlemen…. if I can refer you to the Corporate Business Plan… as you will see, we have incorporated a strategic delivery framework, along with key improvement plans that we expect to bear considerable benefits to the business in the medium term.  We have of course integrated performance targets; a short-term financial strategy, incorporating a risk awareness for internal and external stakeholders that is a necessary adjunct to what is an otherwise healthy forecast… this will, of course enable the implementation of  a major crisis plan if at all required.  Allied to this is an incremental marketing strategy that focuses on customer retention, with full recourse to our renewed emphasis on SEO analytics, which we envisage to be fully compliant with our corporate communications strategy before the third quarter and which is targeted to supplant all previous marketing policy documentation.  In addition, I would also like to highlight the hard work from human resources in the achievement of a new equality and diversity plan that has been rolled out efficiently across all global recruitment activity – and has been delivered significantly under budget.  In conclusion, the market is robust and I feel we are in pretty good shape to aggressively achieve all our corporate global targets this year… However, what we don’t have yet is a shit-hits-the-fan plan encompassing a feasibility study for the quickest route to the airport, for when the shareholders discover how we have systematically siphoned-off the pension plan to a series of off-shore accounts to fund the high-roller lifestyle to which we have all become accustomed over the previous two quarters…”

 

 

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