Banking On A Bonus

Bankers

Pensioners… the Disabled… Single Mothers… War Widows…  Minimum Wage Earners… Immigrants… Nurses… Hard Working Families…”

“What’s up Quentin?  You seem rather preoccupied?”

“Pardon..?”

“Just then… reciting something to yourself…”

“Sorry Nigel… I’ve just had a simply awful thought…”

“My god man – what is it?!”

“When we screw up again in the new year… who the hell is going to bail us out this time?!!!”

 

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Three Reasons You Should Leave A Copywriting Job

I resign

 You know it’s time to leave a copywriting job when….

ONE: You still keep banging your head on a creative brick wall but you don’t bleed anymore

TWO: You find you almost don’t care about speling

THREE: Your boss starts addressing you as MR or MS Wordsmith

A) It’s patronising…

B) It means you’re marginalised and your creativity is safely under control…

C) You’re almost irrelevant; a sideshow even…

D) You’re an indulgence…

E) You’re not really necessary but we tolerate having you around…

F) Ooh… what a quaint little skill that is in our big hard-nosed sales environment…

G) This is the real world – You fill the space, OK?

We Have A Business Plan

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  “Right, okay ladies and gentlemen…. if I can refer you to the Corporate Business Plan… as you will see, we have incorporated a strategic delivery framework, along with key improvement plans that we expect to bear considerable benefits to the business in the medium term.  We have of course integrated performance targets; a short-term financial strategy,… Read more.

The Inheritance Business

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“One day son all of this will be yours… well… at least what’s left after I’ve bought a series of imported fast cars and a Harley Davidson; been discovered bribing Government officials to win a contract; carelessly manipulated our share price; subsequently received a corporate fine for involvement in an insider dealer scandal; got caught red-handed… Read more.

Britain PLC

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Ever thought that current politicians are just like a middle-management convention?  That they’re simply a bland collective parroting the vacuous conveniences of the company mission statement?  A group without message, morality, intellect, calling, philosophy or ideology but with added Na-na-na-na-na!?  Do you consider they spend their time shuffling a limited pack of tarot cards while… Read more.

Someone-s Having A Bad Day!

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There you were – just being polite… making conversation; showing an interest – passing the time… But you never expected that – did you?  I’m sorry I only asked…  “You going on another adventure holiday this year?” “A holiday?!  An adventure?!  You’re serious – right?!  Adventure?  What adventure?!   There’s nothing left.  There are no secret… Read more.

Some Of The Characters You@ll Meet On LinkedIn

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The Big Blanket:  Ego Tweets – all of ‘em.  I’m social media – Me.  No sense of irony; no sense of humour; no sense of time and place.  Buying coffee; on the train; conferences; bars; in a meeting and hey it’s raining… Well I never! The Company Blanket:  The Big Game Hunter.  The HR stalker.  Just… Read more.

Three Bits Of Advice For The Aspiring Copywriter

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ONE: Don’t get hung up on your work…  It’s all new… you’re keen and you want to impress… What do you want to do?  IMPRESS! When do you want to do it?  NOW! But if you really want to demonstrate you’ve got the writing stuff remember – it’s a collaborative game.  You get the chance to… Read more.

Ghost in the Machine -The Easter Rising

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Profoundly depressing thought of the day: As a vaguely functioning copywriter… some days I feel my words are about as valuable as a good script in an HD porn movie. Raising the ded … It’s time for another loosely-linked grumble/ramble through the life of the writing outsider.  A Gramble?  Another paean to the ranks of… Read more.