New Creative Director Branded

“You met the new Creative Director yet?”

“Yesterday… she introduced herself in the foyer; then she had an informal meet and greet over some Prosecco with the team on our floor… you?”

“Yeh… saw her in the lift… had a quick chat…”

“What d’ya think?”

“She’s got a great reputation, a shed load of awards; had a fast track to the board if she wanted it but can’t live without the day-to-day creative according to Don…”

“Re – spect…”

“Full of energy and new ideas I heard….”

“A breath of fresh air…”

“Also word is she can be blunt; to the point… doesn’t fanny around – and has a distinct lack of pretension…”

“Hmmm; got the impression she’s not taking any prisoners…”

“Me too; mind you… fairplay; she must have a huge salary to justify if the board managed to prise her away from TDMP.”

“She’s what this place needs.”

“Abso-lutely… we’ve lost far too many accounts since Jonno left…”

“So short-sighted letting him go… it needs a total shake up of presentation protocols for the client marketing team to begin with…”

“And as for the design side…”

“A mess!”

“And that’s being polite…”

“Did she mention what her plans were for creative?”

“She sort of hinted…”

“Sort of?”

“She called me into her office and told me it wasn’t good enough…”

“What?! Hers is easily the biggest on that floor and it’s got that great view over the square…”

“Not the office! Our overall creative response and processes – from client brief to deliverables to our lacklustre – her words – integration…”

“What?!”

“Yeh… I know… everything… digital… content strategy… ATL… BTL… ‘BLT’ she called it –‘creative with no real meat; produced by a bunch of grey-boiled vegetables’…”

“Huh?!”

“… ‘A bland sandwich of unrelated concepts from ageing show ponies with as much bite as Ed Miliband…’ ”

“Christ almighty! Doesn’t she understand our USP?!”

“Apparently not…”

“She told Julian she wants – ‘Inspiration not constipation…’ ”

“No shit…”

“Hmmm…”

“You did…”

“Of course I did… you know how we sweated blood and something much stronger than ruddy Prosecco on brainstorming that over several nights!”

“So you told her?”

“All of it – right between the eyes… Listen lady, I said – this is the agency distinguished by an open window on the world philosophy; a digital synergy of dialogue, storytellevating™ © and creative engineering…”

“She didn’t get it?!”

“Just bloody laughed..”

“What a bitch!”

“Bunny boiler!”

“Chocolate box creative…”

“Over promoted harpy…”

“What did she get awards for?!”

“Probably slept her way to the top…”

“Bottom line drone…”

“TDMP have been going down for years… and so has she by the look of it…”

“A creative dunghill…”

“Cheap tart!”

“I ask you… Prosecco!”

Three Reasons You Should Leave A Copywriting Job

 You know it’s time to leave a copywriting job when….

ONE: You still keep banging your head on a creative brick wall but you don’t bleed anymore

TWO: You find you almost don’t care about speling

THREE: Your boss starts addressing you as MR or MS Wordsmith

A) It’s patronising…

B) It means you’re marginalised and your creativity is safely under control…

C) You’re almost irrelevant; a sideshow even…

D) You’re an indulgence…

E) You’re not really necessary but we tolerate having you around…

F) Ooh… what a quaint little skill that is in our big hard-nosed sales environment…

G) This is the real world – You fill the space, OK?

Word Power

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“Pen… mightier than the sword? Of course I believe it, my dear fellow… It may be a source of cliché, however, as a celebrated man of letters deeply in touch with the serendipity of his muse, I endorse the power of the written word wholeheartedly and without any undue reservation… words can topple dictators, invigorate the spirit and surpass all that is ugly… Read more.

The Creative Dictator

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“Hmmm, yes, absolutely… here at Mediaocre Associates we operate a holistic approach.  We’re all recognised as creatives you know.  All got our part to play…  Everybody buys into the core ethos of what we describe as – creative enablement.   Everyone from the ground up is a crucial part of the process… even the interns have a fundamental role… Read more.

How To Insult Your Audience And Get Away With It

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Everyone working in a creative industry knows the feeling at some time… the client who doesn’t get it; or if they do – wants it done their way no matter what.  Whose idea of partnership it seems is to be deliberately obstructive to prove a point; who will not relinquish any semblance of control to the… Read more.

One Year Of The Magoo;

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 The CreativeMagoo…                       the creativemagoo… THE CREATIVEMagoo…                                                                                the CreativeMagoo… THE CREATIVE                                                    MAGOO…

Another Of Those Top Ten Lists…

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This is yet another of those TOP TEN lists… You all know the drill by now because they are de rigueur online; stylistically oppressive and ubiquitous.  Like a friendly virus. TEN is a NICE neat rOund number.  Cognitively comfortable compared to mentally unsettling maverick number NINE – where you can’t help feeling something is issing –… Read more.

Ghost in the Machine -The Easter Rising

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Profoundly depressing thought of the day: As a vaguely functioning copywriter… some days I feel my words are about as valuable as a good script in an HD porn movie. Raising the ded … It’s time for another loosely-linked grumble/ramble through the life of the writing outsider.  A Gramble?  Another paean to the ranks of… Read more.

Andrex Strikes A Bum Note

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Not content with showing us their puppies Andrex is getting down to the nitty-gritty of dietary fibre and how the nation wipes.  The latest attempt to inveigle brand awareness into the last few nooks and crannies of everyday life that remain untouched is ultimately a non-(t)issue of false hysteria. The numbest of bum steers. Showing… Read more.

Me and My HB…

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     ● Single lead core. ● One bit operating system. ● Bytes – out of the end. ● Ram – anywhere. ● Rubber rewriter optional. ● Antivirus – run under a tap. ● Press hard for high definition. ● PowerPoint. ● Doodle search engine. ● Deface any book. ● Ultra slim case. ● Wide colour… Read more.