Go Trump My Farage!

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They were scarcely Kennedy or 9/11 moments… The associations of their names – the whiff of a bad smell and the surname echoing a confused hodgepodge of meaning – are the only things to live up to expectations. But beyond the easy pickings for stand-ups and political commentators, the ramifications of the Trump Presidential and… Read more.

New Creative Director Branded

Prosecco

“You met the new Creative Director yet?”

“Yesterday… she introduced herself in the foyer; then she had an informal meet and greet over some Prosecco with the team on our floor… you?”

“Yeh… saw her in the lift… had a quick chat…”

“What d’ya think?”

“She’s got a great reputation, a shed load of awards; had a fast track to the board if she wanted it but can’t live without the day-to-day creative according to Don…”

Re – spect…”

“Full of energy and new ideas I heard….”

“A breath of fresh air…”

“Also word is she can be blunt; to the point… doesn’t fanny around – and has a distinct lack of pretension…”

“Hmmm; got the impression she’s not taking any prisoners…”

“Me too; mind you… fairplay; she must have a huge salary to justify if the board managed to prise her away from TDMP.”

“She’s what this place needs.”

Abso-lutely… we’ve lost far too many accounts since Jonno left…”

So short-sighted letting him go… it needs a total shake up of presentation protocols for the client marketing team to begin with…”

“And as for the design side…”

“A mess!”

“And that’s being polite…”

“Did she mention what her plans were for creative?”

“She sort of hinted…”

Sort of?”

“She called me into her office and told me it wasn’t good enough…”

What?! Hers is easily the biggest on that floor and it’s got that great view over the square…”

“Not the office! Our overall creative response and processes – from client brief to deliverables to our lacklustre – her words – integration…”

What?!”

“Yeh… I know… everything… digital… content strategy… ATL… BTL… ‘BLT’ she called it –‘creative with no real meat; produced by a bunch of grey-boiled vegetables’…”

“Huh?!”

“… ‘A bland sandwich of unrelated concepts from ageing show ponies with as much bite as Ed Miliband…’ ”

“Christ almighty! Doesn’t she understand our USP?!”

Apparently not…”

“She told Julian she wants – ‘Inspiration not constipation…’ ”

No shit…”

Hmmm…”

“You did…”

“Of course I did… you know how we sweated blood and something much stronger than ruddy Prosecco on brainstorming that over several nights!”

“So you told her?”

“All of it – right between the eyes… Listen lady, I said – this is the agency distinguished by an open window on the world philosophy; a digital synergy of dialogue, storytellevating™ © and creative engineering…”

“She didn’t get it?!”

“Just bloody laughed..”

“What a bitch!”

“Bunny boiler!”

“Chocolate box creative…”

“Over promoted harpy…”

“What did she get awards for?!”

“Probably slept her way to the top…”

“Bottom line drone…”

“TDMP have been going down for years… and so has she by the look of it…”

“A creative dunghill…”

“Cheap tart!”

“I ask you… Prosecco!”

NEW! The Nazi Channel on Freeview

jackboots

JACKBOOT!

NEW on Freeview 666… 

JACKBOOT! for the darkness within…

Can’t get enough of National Socialism?

Want to Nazi Party like it’s 1939?

Never tire of turning over the burnt embers of Berlin again?

Try JACKBOOT!  The  NEW Channel for all things Nazi available on Freeview 666

It’s Launch Night!

In a special first scheduled evening of programmes we present collaborations in association with our friends at Yesterday, Channel Four, Channel 5, Sky 1, The BBC, The History Channel, Dave and ITV

1.00pm:  The Nazis: A Warning From History

2.00pm:  BLONDI – A Dog For A Fϋhrer with Paul O’Grady

The story of ONE megaloMANiac and his DOG…

Adolf Hitler

2.30pm:  Eva’s Beauty Secrets

Advice for the palest of frauleins in avoiding the effects of propaganda and total war on your complexion…

2.40pm:  Ice Road Panzers

An Operation Barbarossa edition containing all the thrills and spills of the Russian winter…

3.35 pm:  The Nazis: Another Warning From History

4.35pm:  Container Wars

Priceless Russian Icons for Goebbels or Vatican secret stash? Bidding starts from the docks at Buenos Aires…

5.00pm:  Eva’s Beauty Secrets

Eva and Hitler

Berghof Beautiful: The health benefits of mountain retreats and sadomasochistic sex…

5.10 pm:  The Nazis: Yet Another Warning From History

6.10 pm:  Nazis On Benefits And Over Here!

What could have happened followed by a lively studio debate…

7.40 pm:  Eva’s Beauty Secrets

Eva Braun in swimsuit

Keeping your skin moist whilst living in a bunker…

7.50pm:  Embarrassing Bodies

Dr Christian asks the questions: Did Hitler really only have one ball? What was all that shouting about? And was he truly the ultimate incarnation of evil or mad as a box of frogs because no one liked his paintings?

8.50pm:  The Nazis: A Further Warning From History

9.50pm:  F*** Off!  I’m A National Socialist, Bigoted,  Racist, Fat and Proud! 

Obese – Is fat a Fascist issue?

10.50pm:  Ross Kemp’s Extreme World

On the trail of the trails of the old Nazis: Ross Kemp is granted another dangerous rendezvous and makes a hasty exit as the old Nazis get feisty…

11.50pm:  Horst Wessel Knew My Mum

The Nazis in popular song…

12.20am:  What Heidi Did Next With A Beer Stein

Beer Steins

The original 18-30 holidays:  Hitler Youth and the Oktoberfests in Munich – tales of sauerkraut, hiding the sausage and a good old blitzkrieg in the beer halls…

1.00am:  Stand Up For The Nuremberg Comedy Club

Celebrate the dumkopf in you : “One day Hitler walked into the Reichstag…”

2.30am:  Carry On Up The Brandenburg Gate!”

Our late movie is an unseen classic from the Carry On series:

“Mein Kampf?  MeOoo I should say so duckie! Get you and yer totalitarianism!”

3.00am:  A Conversation At Closedown

Historian David Irving reconsiders on a theme: “Now that Adolf Hitler – he wasn’t such a bad chap…”

 

jackboots

Pre Subscription Advice:

Please note: Programmes to be repeated for a longer period than the Third Reich was intended – or lasted…

JACKBOOT! for the darkness within…

NEW on Freeview 666 

 

COMING SOON ON JACKBOOT!!!

The Mitford Diaries: The Original Blog… 

“Went to Nuremberg… tried awfully hard to get up to the front to see that Mr Hitler but the place was simply brimful of the most dreadful oafs in matching brown uniforms; although one has to say their jackboots were extremely stylish, both shiny and practical in a manner that Jeremy in the local hunt could only dream of…”

Word Power

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“Pen… mightier than the sword? Of course I believe it, my dear fellow… It may be a source of cliché, however, as a celebrated man of letters deeply in touch with the serendipity of his muse, I endorse the power of the written word wholeheartedly and without any undue reservation… words can topple dictators, invigorate the spirit and surpass all that is ugly… Read more.

I Speak Your Weight – Election Special

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TORY:  “It’s time to stand on your own two feet, pull your belt in and throw those curtains wide before six in the morning; along with the rest of the hard-working families in our country who pay their full tax contribution toward getting down the deficit.  Did I tell you me and Sam love a… Read more.

The Creative Dictator

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“Hmmm, yes, absolutely… here at Mediaocre Associates we operate a holistic approach.  We’re all recognised as creatives you know.  All got our part to play…  Everybody buys into the core ethos of what we describe as – creative enablement.   Everyone from the ground up is a crucial part of the process… even the interns have a fundamental role… Read more.

We Have A Business Plan

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  “Right, okay ladies and gentlemen…. if I can refer you to the Corporate Business Plan… as you will see, we have incorporated a strategic delivery framework, along with key improvement plans that we expect to bear considerable benefits to the business in the medium term.  We have of course integrated performance targets; a short-term financial strategy,… Read more.

Top vs Bottom

TopWhat’s the difference between the top and the bottom?

At the bottom it’s – screw this!

At the top it’s – screw you!

In the middle it’s – I’m screwed!

High Rise

 

Microsoft Women Get The Big Heave O

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(M) an (I) n (C ) harge (R) regards (O) “OMMM” (S) atisfactory (O) bstructing (F) emale (T) alent   Only 17% of Microsoft’s engineering, technology and management staff are women.    Misogyny in computing requires only snubbing obligatory fiscal trade-offs

Blood Snorts

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“Yes, I’m a writer.  Cross me at your peril.  I don’t understand the reason for your childish display of mirth, or the signs of low intelligence and poor vocabulary.  You should be careful my friend… My words are my rapier.   I can dip my pen into a pot of creative vitriol at will.  I can… Read more.